Sunday, July 27, 2008

There's a blast in Bangalore...

All students are gathering in the human experiment lab of the Physiology Department (that includes me of course). We were here to claim our third IA's mark on physiology paper. Thank God I passed the paper...

Dr Suresh, the Physiology Head of Deparment came into the room. There's a seriousness in his face.

"Dzul... come here, I need you to make an important announcement" beckon Dr Suresh towards Dzula. I saw Dzula rushing towards Dr Suresh while Im sitting cordially on a chair in the Human Experiment lab of Physiology Department inspecting my third Internal Physiology paper together with the rest of the students.

Dzula came back to the crowd in the lab. Calm in his face... nothing shocking... he even put a smile.. a childish smile.

"Er... Perhatian semua... This is very important... Dr Suresh nasihat semua orang supaya jangan pergi ke town... Don't go to MG Road, Garuda semua tu. Saya tahu semua orang eager nak keluar town time-time lepas exam macam ni... tapi saya harap korang stay put and balik ke apartment dulu kot... Sebab ada siri Pengeboman di Bangalore. Setakat ni ada 5 bombing berlaku. Jadi untuk keselamatan saya harap semua orang balik rumah dulu kot."

A bombing... Bangalore is under terrorist attack

Monday, July 7, 2008

Knowledge, Understanding and amal (Tribute to akh Zafry)

"Anas, can you briefly describe your understanding upon this 1st chapter of Muntalak?"

I was dumbfounded... I couldn't do it. I couldn't describe my understanding upon this chapter. I totally forgot what is being discussed in this chapter. The whole chapter has been discussed extensively over the period of a few months with our previous naqib, akh Aizuddin. Upon all these months i came to forget everything. MashaAllah.. what has befallen on me?

Life has a specific rule on knowledge and understanding. The rule is those who understand a particular knowledge will be able to apply it. Knowledge coupled with pure understanding results in perfect application. This rule applies to any type of knowledge be it ukhrawi or duniawi.

A surgeon doing surgery on the GIT will be able to have an image of every relations of the stomach, duodenum, jejunum etc in his mind. He'll be able to project a 3D image of the whole system in his mind. Then when he's in the surgery he'll be able to implement it without any potential injury to the important blood vessels and nerves which appears in the surrounding. This is knowledge plus understanding.

I've been taught knowledge. Knowledge about the relation between the wahyu(revelation) and al-hawa(undue desire). We have discussed in our weekly online halaqat that wahyu will never go hand in hand with hawa... that life has two attractions; the Islamic attraction which is always good and the satanic attraction which is always bad... that one who's involve in da'wa need to get rid the al-hawa from his life.. totally get rid of it. This concept has been discussed thoroughly over a substantial period of time.

I was shocked, sad and I felt ashamed. Till now, the question put forward by akh Zafry still ringing clearly in my limbic... it keeps circulating there in the limbic, making laps upon the circular neuronal pathways that make up the emotional and temporary memory system.

Its profoundly clear that my knowledge in this 1st chapter of muntalak has not come with understanding. It hence resulted in my failure to apply it. Knowledge been taught that I must free myself from all the undue desire that chained my life; then only I can focus on learning, understand and thus reverberate the revelation to people in my surroundings.

For not understanding this knowledge, I've done many things unpardonable...of which I couldn't reveal to anybody. Only Allah Knows the best. He's closer than my own jugular vein. He Knows everything that I've done. Everything that answers the hawa... not the wahyu.

The axiom never fail: I learn + I don't understand = Im not applying the knowledge
= I keep indulging myself with hawa nafsu

The conversation with akh Zafry reverberate again in my ears:

..........."Anas.... boleh tak beritahu ana apa yang anta faham dari chapter lepas?"
..........."errr... urrmmmm... haisssyyy... akh Zafry.... minta maaf..... urmmm..... ana dah lupa laaa... urmm...."

Diam.... hanya bunyi horn lori di jalanan Bangalore mengisi ruang conference maya....

........"Oklah... kalau macam tu kita revise balik chapter lepas... kita tak boleh teruskan chapter seterusnya tanpa pemahaman chapter pertama...."

Fortunate me. Akh Zafry was so kind to help me revising what I did not understand and subsequently forgot...

"O Allah, protect me from my own hands, eyes and ears!"

ps: Third IA is coming in 7 days... I wrote this while pausing my study on the abdominal aorta

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Jane, Chaurasia, Satya and Freakonomics(only some snippets)

Jane, Chaurasia and Satya... who are these? Friends? Indeed they are. They are my best friends nowadays... and they are to continue becoming my best friends at least for another month... Question is, who are they? Haha.... they are respectively the Indian authors of Physiology, Anatomy and Biochemistry text book. In the preceding 1 month they are to be my companion, my very best and good companion... because in one month, I'm having my professional examination. 1st MBBS professional examination.
Quoting my seniors notion on this crucial exam: "This is between life and death... so no wonder you guys are so stubborn to get up and come to Subuh prayer at F15" (ironic heh? hehe). By the way it is true in its truest sense. It's so crucial that failing is of no option and totally unpardonable. Repeating will be cost me a fortune.
So... hurm ... Fraekonomics? What the freak? I call this book as my study pause book. Reading Jane, chau chau and Satya often makes my frontal lobe goes fatigue... pausing for a sip of some economics fact will reduce its ischaemic state.
So... Srinivas says that exam comes and goes but knowledge remains... I want to add something to this philosophical thought of a 26 year old anatomy lecturer... exam comes and goes and never come again... but knowledge need to be retained in your frontal lobe. For God's sake they'll ask you the relation of profunda brachii artery when you are in the second year and the consecutive years.